Staying Emotionally Centered While Planning a Wedding
Your engagement period is a time of elation, excitement, and above all, choices. Every day there seems to be another decision to make regarding cake frosting, decorations, the guest list, and so on. While it’s super exciting sometimes the sheer magnitude of planning something that includes everyone that matters most to you, can be daunting. It hadn’t dawned on me when I started planning my wedding just how emotional this whole period would be, and there was a time when I felt like I was going on an emotional roller coaster!
Above all, use this as an opportunity to build your relationship with your partner, and lean on each other. After all, you’re going to have to do so for the rest of your lives! I've learned to take the time to breathe, and be kind to myself—here are a few tips I can give from first-hand experience!
Appreciate Your Engagement for What It Is
Your engagement is a wonderfully unique experience that will never come again. It's a special time for you and your partner, to savor the moment but also excitedly anticipate the future to come.
As far as the wedding goes, you are making decisions as a couple that reflect your unique voice and personality. This is the time to test the boundaries of who you thought you were, and see if you may wind up loving something you never expected. Having another person involved in the planning process gives you a way to stretch your limits.
Let’s also talk about what an engagement isn’t. It is not a time to argue and bring one another down. It is not a time to wave aside every suggestion you don’t love. It is a time to grow together, and work as a team. This will remind you why you want to get married in the first place.
Have a Life Outside of the Wedding
Yes, it is possible! Try having a date day or evening where you focus on something new, like a pottery class, or even simply be together without allowing the conversation to be dominated by linen colors. Find something you both enjoy and think about your husband or wife to-be, not the wedding. It’s kinda tough at first—I felt like all our conversations started to revolve around our wedding, even in the most subtle ways, but just keep remembering that the wedding is just a step towards the marriage, which really is the important and tougher part to work on!
Write Your Vows Early
This may seem confusing, as you are trying not to allow the wedding to take over. But there is something to be said for vow writing. Don’t think of it as another item to check off the to-do list. Instead, take an hour or two, go somewhere quiet, and meditate on what your fiancé means to you. This will allow you to focus on your relationship instead of the wedding day and event itself. You can look back on fond memories, call to mind what you love about this person, and why you are thrilled to be entering into a marriage. There is nothing like reflection to bring us to a point of appreciation.
Many times, in life, we talk without listening. When you are making important nuptial arrangements, it is crucial to have meaningful conversations with your intended. Don’t allow yourselves to begin any disagreements or arguments, because when you look back on this time years from now, you will care more about the start of your marriage than the table decorations. So, when talking together, ask questions, pay attention to the response, and be extremely supportive of your fiancé(e). You are forging the pathway of your forever life together. Start it in a meaningful and peaceful way.
For me, going through this planning process has been emotional and occasionally stressful but I’m so thankful for how it’s actually brought us closer together. Having to work through the joys, disappointments and stresses of the lead up to the day has strengthened our relationship!
As a couple, you are setting out on an amazing adventure. Let it be one that is marked by happiness and learning together. Remember, everyone wants to be heard, and staying calm in the midst of busyness is a mark of strength.
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